This one's for Tatiana...

Top Ten Signs Your Facebook Status is TOO LONG:
10. You have more than 5 punctuation marks and/or emoticons. Yes, commas count... you don't need a list longer than 5 on your darn facebook.
9. Before you click "share," try reading your facebook status in ONE breath. If you can't do it, it's too long.
8. Unless you are in labor and dilating VERY quickly, there's no need to update your facebook status more than 3 times per day. Statuses posted within 1 hour of each other should be counted as ONE, and all other rules apply. (amendment - why are you on facebook if you are in labor?)
7. If you have to click "read more..." to view your whole status... IT IS TOO LONG! It should be noted that this should apply to all COMMENTS left on people's facebook statuses... that's what MESSAGES are for people!
6. At no point in time should you be describing more than 3 daily activities in one status.. no one cares that much.
5. If you are mentioning things like bathroom breaks, showers, or brushing your teeth in your facebook status... you are out of control. We all know you are clean. Scratch that - if you are broadcasting your cleansing regimine on facebook, you are probably lying.
4. You aren't in English class... there are no minimum amount of sentences required in your status. It is a statement, not a THESIS.
3. It should not take longer to read your status than to complete the activity described in said status.
2. Do not type your facebook status as if you are having a conversation with yourself. For example "I wonder what I should do today? Maybe I will go to the mall! Then again, I shouldn't spend the money... hmmmm..." Try keeping that convo in your HEAD and when you decide what the eff you are doing, THEN post your status!
1. If at any point in time during this list you felt the need to check your facebook statuses of past, you probably have posted some doozies, so wake up! NO ONE IS THAT INTERESTED!!!!